Crystal Meth
by xxjosephinexx
Summary: Four friends are thrown into the game by their wizard pals. They're tripping hippies, fresh from the 60s. Sex Drugs and Rock n Roll isn't a motto; it's a way of life. Will they turn Spira upside down? Rated T: We speak a second language called PROFANITY
1. SummaryExplanation

Just so readers know, this story is a collaboration between my biffals and I. It's an idea that stemmed from a lot of other ideas, and it might seem like we were on crack when we wrote it.

"I was!", Alana pouts.

Yeah, you were, but whatevs.

The characters in this fic are based off of us. And the ideas they had were real ideas we had. Call us crazy. We are.

So Josephine, Alana, Skye, and I decided to write this fic for the hell of it. Whether it grows into a fandom sensation, we'll have to find out.

Yeah. It's based on FFX. The orgasm in videogame form. But be patient. FFX isn't even mentioned until the 3-4 chapter.

In a nutshell, here's the prequel:

Its 2007. Alicia, Alana, Joe, and Skye are 4 teenage girls who formed their own band. But they were actually musicians, like, fucking child prodigies. And they were sick of what Rock music has become. They hated the generic Panic! At the Disco spinoffs who sucked live as well as in the studio. What happened to the time when music was part of the soul? What happened to the 60s?

It happened really fast. They befriended the weird, Scientist/Wizard Doc, and his accomplice Tamlyn who sent the girls back in time so they could live their dreams.

This is where the story starts. It's been 2 years. Their band, Bite, has flourished. But their also raving, tripping hippies. After one of their very close friends dies by ODing, they figured they've had enough. They want to come home. So they do. And their arrival is awaited because Doc and Tamlyn have an adventure that will throw them into a world no amount of LSD could procure.

Description of the Characters (They are all based off of our real selves, so don't judge too harshly):

Alicia:

She's the leader of Bite. As the vocalist, and rhythm guitarist, she should get most of the attention. But Josephine kicks too much ass on the electric guitar. The two girls are best friends and Alicia would rather die than loose Joe. (Aww, I love you too Al!). Alicia is half Indian, half Portuguese. She has straight black hair that goes up to her shoulders. She wears it in a side ponytail and the tips are red. Her eyes are this honey color that she has no idea how she got because both her parents had brown eyes. She has 3 tatoos: Bite's symbol on her shoulder, a music note on her ankle, and a star around her bellybutton, which is pierced. She is a no-bullshit tough chick (hells yeah! That's me!). Mess with her, she'll mess your face. But she loves her friends and always wants to help others.

Josephine:

She has many nicknames the main ones being Jo, or Joe(jo-ee). She is the lead guitarist of Bite. You might have heard of her in the Dominance fic. Alicia posted her bio-without permission. Whatever. She is Italian and German. She has naturally dark brown hair, but dyed it a dark brownish red. She has green, red and platinum streaks. It's waist length (been growing it since she was 12) and pin straight. That's right. PIN-STRAIGHT. People don't think her eyes are real. She doesn't blame them. But they are real. They are a mixture of blue, green and brown (and not a mixture as in one color.They look like badly stirred paint). Mainly green. Not your hazel-green. Hardcore forest green. She has no idea why. She has her bellybutton pierced and wears a chain around her neck that connects to the ring in her bellybutton. She has a rose tattooed on her ankle. She has multiple rings in her ears. She is 16 and is very serious. She is known for being really friendly and everyone likes her because she has such a sweet personality. But previous relationships have made her tougher.

Alana (Lana, Lani):

Alana is Joe's twin sister. They would be identical if Lana hadn't decided to duck her head in a bucket of bleach. She has waist length Barbie blonde hair, and got black and red streaks. She has 7 cornrows, which she died purple and random tresses of hair that are crimped and dyed platinum blonde. She is Bite's drummer. Her idol is Keith Moon of The Who-which should tell you how crazy she gets when she is drumming. She has a tiny diamond in her nose, and a tattoo of Marilyn Monroe's face on her shoulder. She has a laid-back attitude, totally different from her sister. Her eyes are brown. She is a daredevil at heart.

Skye:

Skye is the youngest, purest member of Bite. She is 15, and the bassist. She is sweet, funny, and is like the little sister of all the other girls. They love her to death. Her family is as American as applepie-yes, pie. She is 1/8th Cherokee too. She has shoulder length, olive-blonde hair that is pretty curly for some standards. She is always happy and would never touch heroin. She has sky-blue eyes, and loves autumn with a passion. She named her bass and sleeps with it when she's sad.

So these are the girls of Bite and the people who the fic is based on. Us. This story might get a little out of hand. Not that it will suck or get weird-just that the plot may stray. You'll be reading about the death of Jimi Hendrix in the early 70s in the first chapter. This is probably unlike any FFX fic, ever imaginable.

Have fun!


	2. Death of A Star

Alicia lay perfectly still, as the scent of marijuana washed over her. She took it in, breathing deeply.

Lying on her stomach, Josephine lit a joint and puffed heavily. Next to her, Skye and Alana lay sprawled on the ground with half empty beer bottles clutched in their hands. At least five others were gathered around the bonfire. It was deadly quiet, save for the rustle of the wind.

_So peaceful, _thought Alicia. She brushed her black hair out of her face and sighed. This is where she wanted to be. 1970, and all was well.

Not quite.

Something was tugging at the back of her mind. Something terrible was going to happen. She didn't know what, but she knew that when she got _the feeling, _something bad generally happened. But she didn't want the pain. She didn't want to feel bad. She puffed harder and longer on her joint. She took the bottle out of her Alana's hand and took a swig. Then, she smiled as everything went hazy and colorful and she slipped into sweet oblivion.

Josephine, or Jo, as she was called, was having a dream.

"_Happy Birthday, Dolls", Alicia said._

"_Damn, sixteen!", Skye sighed wistfully._

"_Don't worry baby", Jo laughed. "I'll always be one year older than you. And I'll always be 4 minutes older than Alana! But I love you guys. No matter what age"._

"_Ugh! I feel so old", Alana joked, smiling as she adjusted her tiara._

"_Thanks again for the guitar pick, Ali", Jo said, looking up at her best friend._

"_No probs."_

"_You know what I want for MY birthday?", Skye piped up._

"_Lets see…Couldn't be…a TIME MACHINE?!", Jo laughed._

"_Of course", Skye sighed wistfully. "Just think of it guys. We could go back to the 60's-"_

Jo woke up with a jolt.

_Damn, I gotta lay off the booze._

Usually, Jo didn't remember her dreams. But this wasn't a dream, as much as it was a flashback. Because that was the conversation that set the path for everything that followed. She remember her 16th birthday in 2006. She remembered Skye's wistful look. And then everything flew into fast-forward mode. Doc, Tamlyn, the Time machine, the 60s, Sex, Drugs, their band…._their band._

Bite, was the band that the girls had formed when they were kids. In the 21st century, they had been talented musicians. Extremely talented musicians, sick of the way rock music was commercialized. The girls knew they would never be fully appreciated for their music in that era. But in the 60s, their band flourished.

Next to her, Alicia stirred.

"Hey Doll", she slurred.

"Hey"

The relationship between Alicia and Jo was inexplicable. The two were best friends. More than that. They were tight, close, whatever you want to call it. They were practically sisters, and Josephine would rather die than live without her. They felt the same way about the other girls Skye and Alana. Alana was Josephine's twin sister. They would have been identical if they hadn't drastically changed their hair color. But all four girls were like a family.

"I had the feeling again", said Alicia.

"No way!" Joe replied.

"I know it sounds crazy, but…I think something really bad just happened".

"Well, lets get back to the flat. I need a shower".

"Dude, what time is it?", came a voice from the ground.

"Alana, it is precisely 7:02 AM", said Skye, who clearly hadn't been sleeping.

"Lets get back", Alicia said getting up.

The troop hauled up Alana who was in no state to be walking and trudged back to their flat on top of the barber shop, in 1971, LA.

As soon as she got in, Alicia ran to the bathroom. Jo right behind her.

_Shower, dear friend!_

The girls had a bath and a shower in their bathroom.

"Shaudy the shower!" she yelled.

Alicia stripped, and doused herself in boiling hot water. She started singing, and Jo joined in. They were the voices of Bite. And what voices they were.

It was fairly quiet as they turned on the radio. All girls were out in their different-colored terrycloth bathrobes. Their apartment was actually very neat for Hippie standards.

Suddenly, Joe sat up. "What day is it?"

The other girls looked at her in surprise. Alana was the one with the sudden outbursts.

"What day is it!?", Joe repeated. Now she was screaming.

"Relax Jo, it's the 18th, September", Skye said in her reassuring voice.

Instead of comforting her, this seemed send Joe into a trance. Her tan skin turned deadly pale. She looked like she was going to throw up.

"Jo! What's wrong?", Alicia said running over to her.

Joe was hyperventilating now.

"J…Ji..", she stuttered. Alana came rushing over with a glass of water. Joe drank it an promptly passed out on the couch.

The three girls stood in wonder. Then from the open window, they heard it. Some one was screaming, another was crying. Skye walked to the window and threw it open fully. It rang clear now. Someone from below shouted:

JIMI HENDRIX IS DEAD!!


	3. The Mage and The Wizard

OK!!! Sup Sup guys!!! This is Skye. Now that you've had a taste of this gypsie fic, think you're ready for more? Hmmm….tell us….IN A REVIEW!!! Honestly, do we have to beg? Cuz Alicia will.

"Shut up"

Whatevs…the story continues!

The news of Jimi Hendrix's death spread quickly. Of course people were mourning, but back, or should we say forward, in the future, a certain blonde woman was mourning for a different reason.

Tamlyn Everwood rocked back and fourth on her heels. Her blonde hair, which was usually immaculate, was tangled and over her face. Black streaks trailed from her eyes, as her tears mingled with her eyeliner.

An old man with kind blue eyes stood in the doorway of the room.

As for the room, it was a strange one. Funny looking instruments were scattered all over on tables. Colorful liquids bubbled in glass containers. Steam rose in various shapes from brass tubes, and old leather-bound books were scattered throughout the room. It looked like a cross between a laboratory and a wizard's castle. In fact, that is what it was. It was the lab belonging to Augustus Pendragon (from now on, known as Doc), and his assistant Tamlyn.

In relation to the girls, the two were like parents. They had watched out for them, and ultimately set the stage for going back in time, when the girls had had enough.

Now, as Tamlyn cried, Doc tried to comfort her.

"Don't worry Tammy, they'll be fine".

Tamlyn shook her blonde mane, and gave a shuddering sigh.

"I know, but I just can't stand for my babies to be upset".

"They're not babies, Tammy", Doc told her. "They are 15 and 16 year old girls who are perfectly capable of looking after themselves."

"Do you approve of it?" Tamlyn snapped back. "The lifestyle they live? Every single day, I see them doing some sort of drug. They indulge in wild behavior. Reckless! Try dangerous. Alana is so jacked on cocaine, I'm surprised SHE isn't the one dead!"

At this, Doc's eyes widened. Tamlyn clapped a hand over her mouth. Fresh tears came to her eyes.

"You know I didn't mean that! Doc, I want them out of there. They can't cope with this. They are still children in my eyes, and I will get them out of there. You can't stop me!"

Doc sighed.

"I'm not going to"

Tamlyn stopped.

"What?"

"I'm not going to stop you Tammy. In fact, I am going to help"

Tamlyn just stared at him. Doc continued.

"Do you honestly think that I was going to keep them there in the first place? Did you really think I would let them live the rest of their lives in danger? No! Listen, Tamlyn. You know how sad they were when they first left. I knew it was just a phase, and I wanted to show them just how bad it was back then. The 60s came with brilliant ideas, but also bad ones".

Realization dawned on her.

"Now do you see? I was not going to make their stay permanent. I knew this would happen. Eventually they would become sick of their lifestyle. They would want to come back home. And they would arrive home with an important lesson in mind"

A smile broke across Tammy's face. She looked her youthful, 26 year old self again.

"Thank you!", she screamed, and ran over to hug Doc. "But how are we getting them back?"

"We won't need to. The magic I evoked would make them return when they truly wanted to. When they had learned there lesson. In this case, it came with great sorrow, even I had not anticipated".

He looked down.

"At least they're coming back!" Tamlyn said happily.

She ran off down the hall. Doc watched her go.

_I just hope we're not wrong._

Doc knew that the girls would be coming back. He was glad of it too because he also suffered watching them go through the rough and tough of the 60s. But he knew they wouldn't be happy back in the future. They had made it clear, and Doc did not argue with them.

But he knew that when they had gotten over their depression, they would want to go back. He couldn't let them do that. He just didn't know how to make them stay long enough to realize that home was here. He needed to send them on another adventure. They needed a break from reality.

Who better to give them one? He knew the girls would be coming back within a day…..Then it came to him. The surge of brilliance. He knew what to do.

"Tamlyn!!", he called, and sped off after his assistant.

How was that people? We probably just threw you into another twist. You're probably thinking: What the shit does this have to do with final fantasy? Why are they switching back and forth from eras? PLEASE BE PATIENT AND REVIEW! For those of you who actually get some of the story line, we give you mad props (love that!). Next chapter might make more sense…hint, hint.


	4. Back to the Future

Hey y'all!! Joe here. Next Chap! Wow! We're getting closer to the part that actually involves final fantasy! This one should be longer than others. Tell us how you feel about it. It was a little iffy…

While Doc and Tamlyn were working on their surprise for the girls, Bite was doing pretty badly. Upon learning of Hendrix's death, they had become reclusive. Everyone had. It had been a tremendous shock. But what hit the girls most was that they knew it was coming (They WERE from the future), and yet they weren't prepared.

Hendrix had been a close friend to the band. He was also one of Joe's idols. She had spent that same morning in her room with a needle, blasting ACDC.

Alicia did not say a word about the whole thing. What could she say? She spent the rest of the day in the apartment aimlessly walking around and would randomly burst into tears. That was serious because Alicia never cried.

Alana had walked out of the apartment and had not been back for hours. Skye had curled herself up into a ball, and lay on the sofa with her bass, looking like a lost kitten. Alicia went over and hugged her.

"We'll get through this okay?" she gave a brave smile to Skye. But Skye shook her head.

"It's not that, Al." she said in a small voice. "I was just thinking. Jimi was the first to go. But there are others who we KNOW are gonna go to. What about Janis Joplin? Her time is coming soon too. I don't think I could take it if any more people died because of dope".

I dawned on Alicia that she was right. They had other friends and they knew that the 60s would take their toll on them too. Joe came out of her room looking disheveled and unkempt. Her eyes were red, and her skin was chalky white. Alicia went over and hugged her.

"Listen, Joe? You know we have to stop."

Jo looked at her quizzically.

"You know what I mean", Alicia continued. "I can't deal with this anymore. We need a break. You know what Skye just told me? A lot of our other friends are going to die too. I don't think I could handle that. I know you can't handle that. And the first step-", she walked over to where Joe kept her syringes, "is to get rid of these". She picked up the box, and flung it out the window.

Joe just stared as reality dawned on her. Tears streamed down her face.

"I know!" she sobbed. "I know".

At that moment Alana stormed in looking pissed.

"That fucking bastard!" she shouted, throwing off her shawl.

"David?" Skye asked, referring to Alana's boyfriend.

"Yes! David!" Alana screamed back.

"You were with him?" Alicia asked.

"Yeah I was. That asshole thinks he controls me. Well I told him he has to follow MY rules if he wants to stay with me. Number one being: USE A CONDOM DURING SYMPATHY SEX!!"

Uncomfortable silence greeted these words.

"Um, nice to know Lani", Alicia said.

She felt the tugging feeling again. But this time, it wasn't bad. The picture in the apartment was just one of misery. Joe looked like a zombie. Skye looked like a miserable puppy. Alana was being her typical rebel self-just to another extreme. Alicia was trying to be a leader in this situation. But with all the depression, even she couldn't do that. The girls had tried to play music and write new songs. It hadn't worked. That was serious- When they couldn't be cheered up with music.

It wasn't just Jimi Hendrix's death. It was a culmination of all they had been through. The girls realized that they had been abusing their life in the 60s, and that it had ended up all wrong.

Now Alicia felt the tugging. But it wasn't just her.

"What the hell is that?" Alana asked. "I feel like something's pulling on me."

They all felt it. Suddenly, Alicia looked down, and couldn't see herself. Joe tried to look at her hands, but they weren't there. Skye whimpered. The girls were disappearing.

The room started spinning. All their colorful ornaments were replaced by flashing lights. It was like a really bad high. Then there was a clap of thunder, and they were gone.

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Sunlight streamed into the room. Joe squeezed her eyes shut to block out the rays.

_Wake up._

The voice sounded distant.

"10 more minutes, Al", Joe mumbled.

"We're not sleeping". It was closer now

"I am. 5 minutes"

"JOE WAKE UP WE'RE BACK!!"

At this, Joe's eyes snapped open. She saw a pair of honey-colored eyes, two inches from her face.

"What is it Al?"

"See for yourself", Alana's voice came from behind.

Joe sat up. Skye, Alicia and Alana were standing around her looking intently at her face, as if to see what she would do next.

"What?" she asked puzzled.

"We thought you would never wake up", Skye piped.

Joe looked around the room. It was so familiar. The odd mists that hung on the walls were—Oh Dear God.

"So, finally woke up?" a woman's voice said. Joe whirled around.

"TAMLYN!!" she shrieked running over to give her a hug.

"We missed you so much!"

"Well it has been 2 years!" a man's voice came from the door.

"Doc!" Joe screamed again. She had no idea what was happening.

Neither did Alicia, or the rest of the girls.

"Okay!" Alicia said in her commanding voice. "We're pretty glad to be back, and we're happy to see you guys…but can somebody tell me what the hell is going on?".

Alana nodded. "Yeah, spill".

"Isn't it obvious?" Skye said wondrously. "They brought us back to the future".

"That much is true, babes", Alicia agreed. "But how? Why? When?"

"All in good time girls", Doc said calmly. "I'm sure you all are exhausted. A lot has happened in the past 24 hours".

Bite exchanged incredulous looks. Doc was right. It had barely been a day so far. And they were tired.

"We'll explain everything tomorrow", Tamlyn said. "You girls should get upstairs".

Without a word, they trudged up the familiar steps into the room they hadn't been in for 2 years. With their heads spinning with questions, the girls fell asleep.

Back downstairs, Doc looked at Tamlyn.

She opened her mouth to speak, but Doc held up his hand.

"Tomorrow Tammy, tomorrow".

With that, the lights were turned off in the lab and not a word was spoken for the rest of the night.

So that was that. This chapter was sorta bad. Mainly a transition/space filler. I PROMISE YOU ON MY RATHER LACKING HONOR THAT THE NEXY CHAPTER WILL INVOLVE FINAL FANTASY!!!! We give our love to Overlord Xavier for being the only one to review.


	5. A Cut From Reality

Alrighty guys. This is the one and only Alana. This chapter FINALLY has something to do with Final Fantasy. We've really tried to make it longer. This one is over 1000 words. SCORE! Tell us what you think PLEEAASSE.

A cool breeze drifted through the open window and tickled Skye's cheek. She opened her eyes to see a pale blue wall plastered in posters of Keith Moon. Music sheets littered the floor, but otherwise, the room was pretty neat.

But something was missing. Where was that hazy smell of Alana's cocaine? Skye sniffed the air trying to find it. Then it hit her. There was no cocaine. Not here anyway. Not in 2008. She sat up and stretched her arms. Alicia and Joe were still sleeping. The sound of water running told her that Alana was in the shower.

She got up and quietly padded to the window. It was so calm here. Her head actually felt clear. In the 60s, Skye never touched drugs. Except alcohol once in a while, but not of the hard-core ones like the other girls did. Alicia was up now.

"Hey", she said sleepily. "I feel so clean, no?"

Skye had to agree. The one good thing about the future was that the air was slowly rid of its drug residue, making it fresh and clean.

Once all the girls were awake and ready, they went downstairs to check out Doc and Tamlyn.

Tamlyn was in the kitchen making breakfast and Doc was reading the newspaper. When they saw the girls, Tamlyn dropped her spatula and Doc made a an incoherent "ock"

Bite had always had a strange sense of style. They were known for wearing the most outrageous things they could get their hands on. Doc and Tamlyn hadn't seen them in so long; they forgot just how insane their clothes could be.

Alicia was wearing a tight black t-shirt that said 'Rock n Roll Saved My Life', over a red mesh shirt. She had black shorts with chains on them, and red and black striped, knee-high stockings. She wore red and black, beat up converse. This was her 'leader' look. She had a black-lace choker that had a skull.

Joe looked the same from the top. She always had her hair pin-straight and down. Today, she had extremely lo-rise jeans that were ripped in all the wrong places. She had a tie-dye t-shirt with Bob Marley on it and she had ripped out the neckline and bottom so that it hung off her shoulders, and exposed way too much of her midriff. She wore a denim vest over it. She had many beads trailing down her front, and many-colored sex bracelets on her arm. She had pink converse hi-tops on.

Alana looked like a typical whore—but she could pull it off. She had black thigh-high boots with buckles up the side. She wore black short-shorts that matched Alicia's but hers had handcuffs on them. She had a purple strapless top that split in the middle like a curtain. As if in a desperate attempt to be modest, she had thrown a woolen, knit sweater over it. She had actually put her hair in an elaborate ponytail, but let her cornrows dangle in intricate loops. Alana could do crazy things with her hair.

Skye was her sweet self—just a little school-girl. She had a grey, plaid skirt which stopped in the middle of her thigh. She had a white tuxedo t-shirt and wore a black vest over it. She had black lace flats and white, knee-high stockings that had bows at the end of them. She had a silver necklace with a dragon as a pendant.

This was typical for Bite. They had dressed like this even before they went back in time. They weren't sluts. They were unique.

Now, Tamlyn and Doc would have to get used to it again.

"Well, are we going to the brothel?", Doc asked incredulously. "Alana! Can you walk?"

Alana answered this by sprinting up the stairs and back again, landing gracefully in her seat at the table. Alana was a runner, like Joe. That was their love aside from music.

Tamlyn chuckled. "Whatever Doc. They're 'unique'".

"Damn straight!", Alicia said stretching. "Now, who wants to tell me what happened yesterday?"

The others nodded.

Doc cleared his throat. "Tamlyn? Want to do the honors?"

"My pleasure", she answered back.

"Okay girls. Here's the deal. When you left 2 years ago, you didn't really think we were going to let you stay, did you?"

"Well actually-", Skye began, but Tamlyn cut her off.

"Of course we weren't going to just send you back to the past and not keep an eye on you. We're not that irresponsible. When you girls left, your hearts were set on flourishing in the 60s. You wanted that atmosphere of people who lived, and breathed music. That was fine with us. But you girls did not anticipate the lifestyle you would lead. You indulged in dangerous behavior, and as your guardians, we would be stupid to let you do that. You know the main reason we sent you back? Because you girls would learn a valuable lesson. Remember when we sent you to 17th century Austria?"

The girls all had a momentary flashback of the occasion, 4 years ago. It had been a total disaster. Alana ended up sleeping with Mozart, Alicia got drunk and led a bunch of people to raid the Royal Chateau, Joe was accused of being a witch, and the prince had proposed to Skye.

Tamlyn looked at the uneasy looks on their faces as the girls remembered the terrible week.

"Doc and I had hoped that by sending you back, we would teach you a lesson. I'm sure you girls have learned it. When you came back, it was because you wanted to. We didn't bring you back. Of course we knew you were coming, but it was YOU who were so miserable and wanted to return. I think you girls have learned your lesson, and we are thrilled to have you back".

As Tamlyn finished her speech, Bite stared in awe.

"Well, I'll be fucked…so you're saying….that it was all a plan…and that….you were...wait...YOU WERE WATCHING US!!", Alana exploded.

"Not everything, but essentially, we knew what you girls were doing at all times", Tamlyn smirked.

The girls exchanged glances and all came to the same conclusion. Alicia spoke.

"Well, you guys did a good thing in trying to help us and all. It did teach us a lesson. But...you understand that we HAVE to go back. We have all realized the errors of our ways. Trust me; I am NEVER touching a needle again. But the 60s is our HOME. We can't stay here. What about _Bite?_ We can stay here for a little while, just to get over the shock, but eventually, we will return to 1970 LA".

Alana, Joe and Skye agreed. They may have been miserable with the drugs, but they knew they would never touch them again. And they would be prepared for any deaths that came their way.

Tamlyn exchanged a look with Doc. They were prepared for the girls' answer.

"Okay", Doc said casually. "You know, we respect any decision you girls make, as long as it's wise. If you say you won't touch drugs again, we believe you. But we have a proposal to make. That was what we really wanted to ask you. But you girls may not be up for it".

He had said the magic words. Alicia and Alana exploded with indignation.

"What?! Are you saying we don't have the spine for anything you throw at us?" Alana yelled. "Bring it! What is this master plan of yours?"

Joe and Skye being the more patient ones waited with interest.

"Well", Tamlyn picked up. "We thought you girls might be interested in…oh...a break from reality."

"We went to the Austria in the 17th century. What could be more psyched than that?" Skye wondered aloud.

"Oh no." Tamlyn said. "We mean more than that. Literally, we will take you from reality".

"What do you mean?" Joe asked. "Like send us to Hogwarts or something?"

"Exactly", Doc said.

"Dude! We're gonna see Dumbledore!" Alicia said excitedly. "I wanna ask him some questions for the Gay rights movement session on Tuesday!"

"No. Not exactly the Harry Potter world. We were thinking more of something else". Doc took a deep breath. "Have you guys ever heard of Final Fantasy?"

Alicia, Alana and Joe looked confused. There was silence, then, Skye shrieked.

"FINAL FANTASY??!! Dude, that's only the BEST game ever!"

The other girls rolled their eyes.

The thing about Skye that very few people knew was that she was a straight up, to-the-core gamer. Her love for the world of graphics and hand-held controllers was crazy. She had even snagged her PS2 to the 60s and played it in secret. If anyone needed to know about a game, or cheat, or whatever, Skye was the person to go to. Now, she was excited.

"Are you saying that you're gonna put us IN the game?"

"Yes", Doc said simply.

Alicia thought Skye might explode with exuberance.

"Skye, calm down. It's just a game"

"No its not. It's more than that. God Damn, Ally! I never needed heroin because that game gave me a high. FFX and FFVIII are the best, but the others kick ass too!"

"How many are there?" Joe wondered aloud.

"Oh, more than necessary", Skye said "But they're all really good!"

"Lemme tell you something. Cloud is a DIME!" she continued.

A strained silence followed.

"Umm, babes, I hate to break it to you, but those people aren't real", Alana said sadly shaking her head.

"Well, if we go into the game, he will be! Which one are we going to?" Skye asked Doc.

"We managed to overlap FFX and FFX-2".

Skye was probably going to have a heart-attack.

Alicia moaned. "There's an FFX-_2? _What the fuck is wrong with the world?"

"Well what do you girls say?" Tamlyn asked. "Think you're up for this little adventure?"

The girls looked at each other, almost reading minds. It would be nice to take a break from the real world. In this videogame (Joe still had a hard time fathoming the fact) they could do whatever they wanted, have fun, and come back home, where they would then leave for 1970. It was as simple as that. Doc and Tamlyn would be happy. They would be happy. What was so hard?

"Okay", Alicia said at last. "We'll do it!"

Tamlyn and Doc smiled. Everything was going as planned.

"Okay! Great", Doc got up to leave, and Tamlyn followed behind. "Um...you girls can do whatever you want. I know, you'll want to use the music room to practice. Just be ready, get mentally prepared for tomorrow."

"Wait, shit! TOMORROW?" Joe gasped.

But Doc and Tamlyn were gone.

Bite stared at each other, wondering what they had just gotten themselves into.

Next Chappy, we will actually be IN Spira! YAY!!


	6. Madness! This is SPIRRAA!

ALRIGHT! In this chapter, we are FINALLY GOING TO SPIRA! You could probably tell by the title. We've pretty much given up on getting reviews. We just love this fic, so we're gonna keep publishing. Tell us what you think if you feel like it. We're not gonna beg.

After hearing the news that they were going into some weird video game, the girls weren't that fussed. Skye was simply ecstatic, but otherwise, it was just another one of Doc and Tamlyn's crazy schemes. They had spent the rest of the day practicing. Bite didn't like to go a day without working on a song, or in general, just jamming. Alicia had locked herself in the room for an hour and blasted Janis Joplin, trying to imitate her voice.

The music room was welcoming. Bite had written plenty of their own songs, but they enjoyed doing covers of other songs. Joe's personal favorite was 'Sweet Child o' Mine' by Guns N Roses. Mainly because the solo had been a bitch to learn. She practiced it until her fingers bled. Slash was her hero among many others. Now the girls were deciding what to do.

"You know, we should really be thinking about what we're getting into" Alana said while twirling her drum sticks.

"Whatever, we're doing, I'm bringing my guitar", Alicia said.

Joe nodded her head vigorously. Leave her precious? NO WAY!

"I think we should all bring our instruments", Skye piped up. "You never know, we could give a concert in Spira!"

"Joy", Alicia said sarcastically. "Like, we'll get appreciation from a bunch of digitally enhanced 'people', in weird clothes".

"Pshh", Alana scoffed. "Who are we to talk about weird clothes? But seriously, they have the craziest sense of style. I've seen what gaming companies clad them in. That's some hot shit".

"Honestly, I don't know why we're so worried" said Joe. "We go to this Spira place, get some kicks, come back, and leave. Big deal?"

"You already miss LA don't you?" Alana said to her sister.

Joe looked away. She DID miss LA. She was already regretting leaving it even for a little while.

"Yeah, but it's nothing. We'll be back in no time"

Xxxxxxxx

That night, everyone was surprisingly calm. Except for Skye, who took things to the other extreme.

"I wonder what we'll need to take?" she said while bustling around the room. I have toothbrushes, extra clothes-but, wait. In the gaming world, you only have one set of clothing. Never mind-".

This went on for about two hours until Tamlyn told Skye that they wouldn't need to bring anything. She and Doc were providing it all when they would reprogram the system.

Alana, and Skye slept peacefully that night, but Alicia and Joe stayed up.

"It's just another silly adventure", Alicia assured her.

"Yeah, I know", Joe sighed. She turned over and tried to go to sleep. But she couldn't shake off the feeling that it would be more than just kicks they would find in Spira.

Xxxxxxxx

Alana woke up first the next day. Everything they were about to do hit her and she promptly fell out of bed.

The loud 'thud' and "Oh Shit!" woke the others up.

"Oh Jesus! Guys you know where we're going today!" said Alicia excitedly. "I can't wait. It's a friggin' video game! Are there bad guys? You know, villains? Evil dudes? Whatever? I hope they're hot!"

"Good morning to you too", Joe said sleepily. "As much as I love your monologues, I still have to run, so I'll see you chicks in an hour or so".

Joe was a runner. She had almost qualified for the Olympics when she was 15, but chose to focus on music instead. It was her other life.

"Only a few more hours, and I'll be talking to Auron!" Skye squeaked. "I'm also going to kick Yuna's ass if she laughs at the wind", Skye finished suddenly getting annoyed. "Cdibet pedlr!"

"Bless you!" Alana said, having no idea what Skye was talking about. She got up to shower.

"Oh and tell Doc that if he turns the cold water on again, I will shove that test tube up his-"

"I'll make sure he knows", Alicia cut her off.

Xxxxxxxx

Later, that day it was time.

It was a mark of how excited they were that the girls wore some of the craziest clothes they could wear.

They all wore full length arm bands with Bite's symbol on them.

Alicia was wearing a purple mini-dress and flip-flops in anticipation of the type of climate expected in Spira.

Joe wore a bright red tank-top that had chains for straps—she never told anyone what the straps were for. She sported large, gothic, knee-highs that looked like they weighed a ton.

Alana wore a simple (for her) light-blue tube top, and baby-blue shorts. She had blue adidas sandals.

Skye wore a magenta bikini top, and denim shorts, with a Hawaiian sarong—again, cute and school-girly.

The whole room was brimming with anxiety, and anticipation. This was unlike anything they had ever done before. Even Joe was getting excited.

Doc and Tamlyn had conjured a strange, flashing sphere that hovered in the air. Doc stepped forward and muttered some incoherent words. The Orb exploded with light and omitted a swirly portal-like object.

"Holy St. Francis", Alana whistled.

"Um...what?" Alicia asked her raising an eyebrow.

"It's Romeo and Juliet", Alana answered.

"Okay girls, ready?" Tamlyn asked clapping her hands together.

Bite nodded.

"Here's the deal. When you want to come back, just follow the directions" she handed Alicia a bag.

"In there is everything you need to know, although", she continued, glancing at Skye, "I don't think you'll need it".

"You will arrive in Spira, on one of the islands", Doc said. "It's up to you girls. Do whatever you want. This is a…um…vacation. But we want you to learn from the experience".

They nodded again. Everyone was too excited to speak.

"And girls", Tamlyn said. "Be careful. I know that danger is something you guys can handle well. When you get to the game, you can program powers into you're system. You will automatically know how to use basic weapons. You can up your levels and such, but you probably wont want to", she smiled with a glint in her eye, knowing that the first thing the girls would do would be acquiring powers.

"This is it girls", Doc said. "Turn back now if you want, but otherwise, go on".

Each of the girls hugged their guardians and braced themselves. Alicia went first, diving gracefully into the portal. Then Skye, then Alana, then Joe. Once the last girl was in, the portal sealed up.

Xxxxxxxxx

They felt like they were falling. Falling into nothingness. It wasn't black, empty space. It was like the matrix. Billions of colors, numbers and signs were everywhere as the girls descended into nothing.

Then.

THUD!

Alicia fell against something. It was soft at first, but she felt like she had jumped off a building. She sat up to look around, but her vision was obscured by another figure that fell on top of her. A figure with long dark hair.

"ALICIA!" she cried. "Where the hell are you?"

"Mphfflm", muttered someone from under her.

"Oh shit, didn't see you there", Joe said hurriedly getting up and pulling her friend up too.

"Its okay, I just wont have children ever, because you just killed my ovaries", Alicia said massaging her stomach.

There was a shriek as Skye hit the ground, and a distant "shit, shit, shit, shit", that announced Alana's arrival.

They all stood up and looked around. They were on a beach. A very nice beach. The water was too blue and sand and palm tree's stretched for miles.

Skye racked her brains trying to remember.

"Besaid", she finally said. "We're on Besaid Island"

"Okay…what's that?" Alicia asked.

"It's this really cool island where most of the characters live", Skye said. "But I really want to see Kimarhi. We should to go to Mt. Gagazet".

"Well, we might as well explore this place first", Alana said.

The others agreed.

It was strange how Besaid Island looked like any other island. Even for a video game. It looked like the real world.

They walked down the beach. Skye kept jumping in the water to see how it felt.

A man with light brown hair came up to them. He was holding a fishing net.

"You girls need any help?" he asked kindly. "You look kinda lost, and I've never seen you here before"

Alicia, Joe, and Alana were struck dumb. Maybe it was the shock of talking to someone that wasn't real. Skye thought fast.

"Um...No thanks. We're fine. You're right. We're not from here. We're just visiting".

"Oh, that's nice. Besaid is a fine place. Where are you girls from?"

_Shit! _Skye thought.

"Uhh...Umm. We're from...Bikanel. Yeah. Bikanel Island".

The blank stares on the others' faces told her they weren't going to be much help. Thankfully the man asked no more questions, because Skye had no clue what was going on in Bikanel at the moment.

"Well, the markets are over there if you need anything", he said. "Hope you girls have a nice stay here".

With that, he walked off.

"Damn girl", Alana said to Skye. "That was some quick thinking".

Skye looked relieved.

"Yeah. It's all good".

"We should walk some more, and get to know some of the locals", Joe said. "Now I'm thinking giving a concert here isn't so bad".

After a few minutes of walking, Alicia stopped.

"Fuck, I think there's a rock in my shoe"

"You're wearing flip flops", Joe said.

"I don't care. Something's in it"

Joe shook her head in disbelief. Alicia could be so fastidious about the littlest things.

Then it happened really fast.

They were standing waiting for Alicia to finish dusting off her flip-flop, when a large blue ball zoomed through the air towards them. In one fluid motion, Alana jumped gracefully caught it.

"Damn!" she said holding it. It was a really weird ball.

"That's a blitzball!" Skye said excitedly. "The Auroch's must be practicing".

"I really wish I knew what you were talking about", Joe said.

"It's a sport" Skye said exasperated. "And the Aurochs are the team on this island!"

"Whatever" Alana said. "As far as I'm concerned, they just threw a fucking ball at my head".

Without noticing the man that was running towards them, she jumped in the air like some pro-volley ball player and spiked the ball back to where it came from.

The man stopped and watched it go, but continued to run towards them.

Bite stared as he approached. If anyone in the video-game world dressed weirdly, it was him. He had a strange assortment of garments and looked like a cross between a Celtic warrior, and a Persian king. Skye sucked in her breath.

"Wakka", she hissed.

"Excuse me?" Alicia turned. "Do you know him Skye? What the hell is wrong with his hair?"

He had bright orange hair which defied gravity in the worst way possible.

Now Skye was jumping.

"Ohmigod! Ohmigod!" she said. "He's one of Yuna's guardians!"

"English, babes, English" Joe said looking flustered. She had no idea what was going on. But the man had reached them now.

He looked at the odd expressions on the girls faces. Skye looked at him like he was a god. Alicia looked at him like he was some disgusting animal. Alana looked pissed. And Joe looked confused.

"Um you girls okay?" he asked. He had a harsh accent.

"Oh yeah", Skye said breathlessly. "We're fine. Alana here, gave your ball back"

Wakka looked at her impressively.

"Wow. It was YOU who threw the blitzball back. I saw that, ya? You got a nice arm and perfect technique, girlie. You ever play blitzball?"

Alana stared dumbly with a stupid, blank expression on her face.

"No, she hasn't", Alicia spoke up.

"Really?" Wakka said. "You have a really good form. I'd like to see you play sometime. It's been a long time since we had a girl on the team"

"Did I miss something?" Joe asked. "When did we get to Jamaica?"

"You want me on the team?" Alana asked, ignoring her sister's comment.

"If you're good enough. Ya? Which I think you are"

"This is insane", Alicia muttered. "Who are you, some sports recruiter?"

Skye turned bright red.

"No, I'm captain of the Besaid Aurochs, ya? Are you girls new around here?"

"Ya. I mean…yes", Joe said. "We'd love to take you up on your offer. I'm sure Alana would love to play. But we have no idea what we have to do here. If you always practice here, we could come by, but in the mean time, could you tell us where the nearest town is?"

Joe could be very sweet and persuasive when she wanted to be.

"Ok", Wakka said. "The nearest town is over that way". He pointed east.

"About two miles up shore, ya? Then you turn left at the next road, and make another left"

Alicia, who was terrible at even the simplest directions, furrowed her brow.

"Okay, so we go east for three miles, and turn right at the next road?"

"No. Two miles and left at the next road"

"And then another right?"

"No, left, ya?"

"No left?"

"No Right"

"Don't take a right?"

"No ya?"

"No?"

"Ya"

"No"

"Jesus fucking Christ!" Alana screamed.

Skye, who was the color of Joe's shirt by now, punched Alicia in the stomach.

"It's okay. I know the directions. And we have a map if we get lost".

With that she dragged Alicia away from the group and started walking. Joe followed, but Alana hung back.

"Do you really think I could play for you guys?" she asked Wakka seriously.

"Sure. I saw you catch and throw that blitzball. I'm tellin' ya, you got a good arm. We need people like that on the team. I hope you can join"

"Thanks" she said, smiling. "I'll get back to you on that"

Then she turned and ran to catch up with the rest of the girls.

"Wow!" Alicia said, impressed. "Nice job Lani. Not even an hour in this crazy world, and you've landed yourself on a team!"

"I have no idea what just happened", Joe said. She sighed. There was a lot to learn.

But the girls had gotten the gist of what Wakka was saying. Blitzball was obviously some avidly-followed sport. Like, Football in the US.

"I see the town!" Joe said excitedly.

So did everyone else. It was really cute. There were market places and stalls, and other little shops. They had to remind themselves that this place wasn't real. But it was hard. Besaid Island was turning out to be a very enjoyable place.

Joe gulped. Almost as enjoyable as LA.

_No. I love LA sooo much more than here. This is just a vacation._

They continued walking into the town, bracing themselves for whatever was to come.

Xxxxxxxx

OOOKKK!! So we are finally in Spira. We already met Wakka. We will meet more people in the next chapter. The girls may or may not give a concert. We probably will. Please review-why the hell am I asking?


	7. Of Chocobos, Withdrawl, and Tantrums

We're on a roll. New chapter. We know how absolutely thrilled you are to hear this news. We might start writing in POVs. The beginning sort of rambles on about the first day. It started out good, and then just got bad. But anywayzzz…….we meet more people! And Chocobos!

Xxxxxxx

"What the shit is that?" Alana said stopping in her tracks.

The girls stared. In front of them was some big ass chicken. It was something right out of Jurassic park.

"A CHOCOBO!" Skye yelled.

"Why the hell is it so big!?" Joe said, astounded. "The chicken is on friggin' steroids!"

"It's not a chicken", Skye said, shaking her head like Joe was a dumb, elementary student. "They're very useful. They're used for transportation, and are involved in races too"

"Wouldn't you know?" Alicia said sarcastically. "Skye? I love you and everything, but WHY do you know all this stuff?"

She shrugged. The girls had entered the town and were walking around.

"I'm hungry", Joe said. "Either we stop and eat, or I die"

Everyone else was hungry too, so they stopped at a little outdoor café. People began to stare at them. They couldn't blame them. They were newcomers here.

"Okay", Skye said, finishing her coffee. She pulled out the map.

"It seems like the hottest attraction here is the stadium. It's mainly used for blitzball, but other assembly's are held there too". She pointed in the direction of the stadium, and the girls could see a large dome in the distance.

Alicia stroked her guitar which was strapped to her back. She was itching to give a concert here. That seemed to be on the minds of all the girls.

"We should check out their schedule", Alana said. "I am definitely getting a show in here. This town could use some action anyway"

As if on cue, a piece of paper fluttered on a passing breeze—right into Alicia's face.

She pulled it off and stared. On it was written:

BESAID AUROCH'S V KILIKA BEASTS 9/23—CANCELLED

IF YOU HAVE ANY SUBSTITUTIONS FOR A SHOW THIS COMING SATURDAY, CONTACT OFFICIALS AT THE STADIUM

Joe looked towards the sky. This was pure luck.

"We can check out the stadium tomorrow", she said. "We should explore the town first".

"Where are we gonna stay?" Alana asked. "I don't see any hotels here".

"There could be an inn here", Skye said, checking the map. "But we could always rent a hut or something".

"A hut?" Alicia asked. "Like…a bungalow?"

"Sure. Whatever", Skye said. "In the game, they're really cute"

Alicia rolled her eyes.

"I guess we're gonna find out"

They spent the rest of the day just walking around. Alicia wanted to see more Chocobos, and after persistent nagging, the others gave in.

"OKAY! We'll see the damn Chocoblocs!" Alana said exasperated.

So the group trooped over to the pen near the stadium. There were many Chocobos and each had their own handler.

"They're so cool", Alicia said in wonder. The Chocobo they were looking at turned its head and stared at her. It had a nametag that read: Sweety. She held out her hand to pet it.

The handler spoke up.

"I wouldn't touch him if I were you", he warned. "He has to get used to you first. When Chocobos are angry or uncomfortable, they often-"

"Whatever", Alicia cut him off. "Look! He's not gonna do anything to me. We're best-"

But whatever they were, nobody would find out, because Alicia's words were cut off by a spray of spit that expelled from the Chocobos beak.

Alana and Skye were rolling on the floor laughing, Joe looked faintly surprised, and Alicia's expression was hard to read.

"Um…Yes", the handler said nervously. "I was going to warn you about that. When Chocobos are angry, they often...um...spit…in your face"

Alicia turned to give him a death glare.

"I think I figured that much out for myself", she hissed. Then she turned on the huge chicken.

"JUST WHO THE FUCK DO YOU THINK YOU ARE!? SOME LLAMA?" she screamed. People had started to stare at this girl yelling at a Chocobo.

"Um…Al?" Joe said nervously. "Wanna turn it down a little?"

Alicia ignored her and continued.

"SWEETY, MY ASS! THIS IS BULL-"

But all this screaming achieved was another spray in the face.

Joe thought Alana would die of laughter. Skye had started to tear up, and even she had to admit this was funny.

The handler looked like he wanted to disappear on the spot. He handed Alicia a towel, which she snatched from his hand.

"Um…thanks", Joe said nervously, almost as red in the face as the boy. "Uh…We learned a lot…It was…interesting" With that, she grabbed Alicia's arm, and pulled her away from the scene. Skye and Alana followed behind, wiping tears from their eyes and smothering snorts of laughter.

"This isn't over!", Alicia yelled back.

Joe walked faster, until they were out of sight.

A lovely start to the day.

Xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

After the incident with the Chocobo, things were a little more subdued. Alicia had an attitude for the rest of the day. It was increased by her lack of drugs. It was so hard to quit. It had barely been a day. Luckily, there was no dope in Spira (As far as they knew), but the craving was still there.

Joe could usually handle it perfectly, but Alana was another case. If she didn't have coke, or LSD, her whole persona changed. Sometimes it got scary. She was a totally different person.

"This sucks!" Alana said huffily. "There is obviously no way I can get my hands on some Mary J here"

"Oooh symptoms of withdrawal Lani!" Skye said, her eyes widening. "I thought we were gonna stay clean, huh?"

"I know", Alana said sheepishly. "It's just hard. I NEED A JOINT!"

At this several people turned and stared.

"Lana?" Skye said. "As much as you crave weed, I don't think people here would appreciate it if you went around begging for some"

Skye shook her head. It was a good thing she had never touched drugs. Alana was going to suffer for the next few days as her system worked out all the bad stuff. It was already showing. Out of nowhere, Lana was getting moody and violent. A minute ago she had been carefree and happy. Now she was bitchy and complaining.

Her eyes were red, and glassy. Alicia checked her watch. It was 6 pm. They needed to find a place to stay—and to get Alana out of the public eye. She exchanged nervous glances with Joe.

"Um...Lani?" Joe tentatively asked her sister. "Are you okay? I think we should find a hotel or something".

Alana dumbly shook her head, and followed like a zombie.

Alicia spotted an inn at the end of the road. She grimaced:

CHOCOBO INN

_Great! I'm gonna love this place._

They rushed inside, before Alana had her fit in the middle of the street. The inn was good enough. Alicia rushed to the front desk.

"Um...We need a room. It's URGENT"

"I'm sorry, ma'am", the woman at the front desk said, bitchily. "You will have to wait. We have other people who have been waiting for a while now".

Alicia turned and saw a line of people.

_FUCK!_

"Listen lady, we REALLY need a room now. See that girl over there? She's about to have a fit. Unless you supply a sufficient amount of crack this minute, or give us a room, she is going to have the worst tantrum you've ever seen in your life"

The secretary didn't blink an eye. "I told you. You'll have to wait"

That broke the straw

"WHAT THE HELL!?" Alicia exploded.

Skye looked around nervously. People were staring. This was the second commotion Alicia was causing that day. This was not going as planned.

The lady at the desk was obviously not happy either. "Ok. Wait a minute." She left and returned with a pair of keys. "Room 245. Third Floor"

Alicia grabbed the keys, but not before Alana let out a blood curdling scream.

"GIVE ME A FUCKING NEEDLE!!"

The room went silent. Joe looked around crestfallen.

_Well, we are royally fucked now._

It got worse. Alana picked up one of the stools and flung it as hard as she could across the room. It smashed into one of the cheap flower paintings.

The secretary's eyes flashed dangerously.

"I would suggest that you girls find someplace else to stay tonight" she said slowly. "Dear Yevon, do you have any idea how much trouble you have already caused? I would leave NOW"

Even Alicia had to agree. Alana had gone a hair to far. Skye grabbed Joe's arm, and sprinted out of the hotel. Alicia followed, dragging Alana with her. Alana was fighting every step.

"No…I don't want…", The other three stood helplessly watching their friend convulsing in the street. Skye took a deep breath.

"Guys. I really didn't think we'd have to use this but I brought it along just in case"

She reached into the bag, and pulled out a lethal looking instrument.

Alicia's eyes widened. Joe choked.

"You don't think she needs it that bad?" Alicia asked desperately. "The Jimmy", as they called it was an emergency method. Inject it into a person, and they were thrown into unconsciousness. It had been a back up tool in case anyone ever OD'd or something.

"No", Skye said. "I know she needs it". With that, she swooped over Alana, and stabbed the needle into her arm.

Alana stopped shaking immediately. "Dude? What…" And then she blacked out. Alana rolled over like a kitten and snored peacefully.

The others were shaken. This day had gone from good to terrible.

"Now what do we do?" Joe asked to no one in particular.

"What do we do?" Alicia answered. "We pray"

"You're an atheist"

"I know. It's that desperate"

The three were huddling around Alana's unmoving body wordlessly wondering what to do, when there was a shout.

Joe got up and turned. Waving his hand, and telling them to come over was…Wakka

"Thank George!" Alicia said sighing. Wakka ran over to them.

"What happened to you girls? You look bad, ya?"

"Wakka! We really need help!" Skye said tearfully. "We were just kicked out of that hotel, Alana is unconscious, and we're stuck out here. I think I'm losing it. Yep. This is it. I'M CRACKING UP!!"

Wakka scratched his head, and looked down at Alana with concern drawn of his face.

"Okay. Don't worry 'bout anythin', ya?" he said. "You girls can kip at my place for now. I'll need to hear about all this, though. You girls seem to end up in funny situations"

"Funny is not the word", Joe muttered.

Wakka hoisted the unconscious Alana onto his back and led the girls back to his place.

As all this commotion was happening, Alicia couldn't help but think of something. She felt it in her gut, that all these events had been planned. Someone or something had 

wanted their paths to cross with Wakka's. He WAS one of the main characters in this game. Alicia couldn't shake the thought that going with him would lead to something weirder than an Acid trip.

She shrugged it off and followed silently.

Xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Okay…we haven't updated in a while (Like you CARE!) But we wanna explain something's first. Cuz you're all prolly wondering: Wow, this is one WEIRD fic. And this chapter was prolly the WEIRDEST!

I understand that we've all played the game, but we should still write this as if people haven't. In the next chapter, everything will fall into place. So far, we just wanted to get people used to us, and for US to get used to Spira. No fighting YET. No drama YET. But y'know? It would help a lot if we had REVIEWS!!


	8. Dues Ex machina? WTF!

We are really trying to make these chapters longer

We are really trying to make these chapters longer. What seems like ten pages on Microsoft Word, is actually really small on a fanfic, so we get confused. Anyways, this chapter is another bad one/filler/transition. Basically, we're at Wakka's explaining how we got here. Skye tries to tell us what's going on, but doesn't get too far…

Xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Bite had followed Wakka back to the hut. It WAS cute. It was like a little tribal union where everything was made out of bamboo.

Skye's heart was racing. She remembered Doc say that they had overlapped FF X and FF X-2. That meant that Wakka had married Lulu by now, and possibly, Vidina was born.

Now, as Wakka carried a sleeping Alana to his place, he turned to the girls.

"Okay. I know something's up girls. I really hope you're gonna tell me, 'K? I can only help if I know the whole story"

Joe looked wearily up at him.

"Okay" she said in a small voice. She then turned to Skye and gave her a look as if to say:

_If ever there was a time we need to bullshit, NOW IS THE TIME!_

Skye nodded and began thinking fast. They obviously couldn't tell Wakka that they were from another dimension. The whole Bikanel lie would be fine here, but she would have to explain their instruments, and (she gulped) why Alana was unconscious after being kicked out of a hotel.

They entered the hut and Wakka called out.

"Lu! Come 'ere we need your help"

Alicia and Skye turned and stared at Skye with wide eyes. Alicia mouthed the word, _Lu?_

Skye shook her head to tell them it was okay. There was a baby's cry which confirmed her theory about Vidina, and a woman entered the room.

They fell silent. Not only was the woman breathtakingly beautiful, but she had an aura that commanded attention and was peaceful at the same time. Alicia stared at her outfit.

_Belts? Hmmm. Note to self: Get belted skirt! Who is this emo chick? This dude's wife? How the hell did they end up together?_

Joe remained silent but locked eyes with the lady, Lulu. They were a brilliant red.

_Guess I'm not the only one with gypsie eyes._

She opened her mouth to speak, and her voice was very calming and had a trance-like quality to it.

"Hello" she smiled. "Who are these girls, Wakka?"

Wakka mouth dropped as he realized he only knew Alana's name. He looked apologetically at the girls.

Alicia cleared her throat. "Hi. I'm Alicia, that's Jo, and she's Skye. That chick over there is Alana, but she can't talk right now"

"I can see", she said serenely. "I'm Lulu. Do you girls need any help other than healing Alana?" she smiled knowingly.

"Um…yeah, Lu" Wakka said. "I told them they could stay with us for tonight. They're new here and-"

Lulu cut him off. "Of course they can stay here for tonight. But I want to hear your story, girls. You seem like you have some interesting things to tell"

Alicia nodded gratefully. "Thank you so much! We hate to intrude, y'know? But we didn't have any other choice, and-"

"Its fine", Wakka smiled. "Anything for a potential blitz player" he glanced at Alana who mumbled something in her sleep.

"Now", Lulu said, rubbing her hands together. "Is there anything in particular that Alana needs"

Skye spoke up. "Oh. That won't be necessary. We usually do it, the good old fashion way"

Lulu raised an eyebrow. "Ah. How may that be?"

Alicia walked over to a pot of water sitting on the window sill. She picked it up and dumped it all over Alana's face.

Alana's eyes snapped open, and she realized she was drenched.

"Jesus! Al? What are you doing? What is this? Some frat house? Are you gonna start dumping beer on me next-"

Alicia cleared her throat, and Alana realized where she was.

"Uh…Oh…umm…Hi Wakka?" she said tentatively. "D..D'you know what happened to me, because I don't"

Wakka smiled. "That's unfortunate, ya? 'Cause, I don't know what happened to you either. You're friends here were just about to tell us"

The group trooped into the kitchen where Lulu poured everyone some sort of herbal tea. They sat around the table, and Skye began to tell the story she had invented in the past few minutes.

"Well we're from Kilika", she started. Alana nodded her head in mock agreement. "As you could probably tell, we are a band. Umm…Joe and Alana are twins. You probably couldn't tell. They're Al Bhed but Joe developed an obsession with machina, that was unhealthy-"

At this, Joe choked and spat out her drink, resulting in Alicia being sprayed in the face for the third time that day. Alana patted her on the back.

Skye continued. "So anyway, Joe's parents decided to move to Kilika, where we met up. We all happened to play instruments and we were all really good friends, so we formed our own band: Bite"

Lulu nodded with interest.

"So, we decided that we want more than just local concerts. We wanted to expose all of Spira to our music. We've been traveling around for about a month looking for gigs. Anyway, we landed here where we met Wakka. Apparently, Alana has some hidden potential as a Blitz player, so if she IS good, who knows what could happen"

Skye took a deep breath. It was not time to explain why they had been kicked out of the hotel.

"Um…We were at…um…the Omega ruins. Just checking them out, y'know? About 2 years ago. And Alana found this plant…there was only a few of them around. We don't think anyone ever saw it before. But...ahh…Alana has a love for plants" Alicia snickered, but managed to disguise it as a cough. Skye continued.

"So this plant turned out to be some kind of, I don't know, drug? And Alana has a very weak addiction system. Like, she will get high off anything" Alana opened her mouth indignantly, but Joe stepped on her foot.

"So, that's another thing. Alana sometimes gets a craving for this plant. It's been a while now, but she'll still have random fits all over the place" This lie was going smoothly. "So she had one, just now at a hotel, and we were kicked out because she got a little too violent" Alana bowed her head.

"Thankfully, Wakka picked us up, because we're short on gil anyway. And now we're here. We were planning on giving a concert at the stadium but we're kind of at loose ends here and we could use any help we get"

Skye finished her story somewhat lamely.

Lulu didn't seem fussed. She nodded her head serenely (nothing new).

"Well, I hope you girls can accomplish what you came here for. We are willing to help in any way we can"

Joe smiled thankfully. Hopefully, they could stay here for one night, and be on their way.

Lulu showed them a separate room with two medium sized beds. It was really nice of them, Joe thought. Once in the privacy of their room, Alicia turned on Skye.

"OK. You are telling us the whole deal of this world right here, right now!" Alicia was pissed, and had every right to be.

Skye sighed and pulled out the bag. Joe and Alana joined and they formed a small circle around the contents.

Skye took a deep breath and began to explain.

"Okay. As you know we are in the world of Spira, which is part of the Final Fantasy series. In our current situation, Spira is combined with Final fantasy 10 and the remake of Final Fantasy 10"

"Any reason why they made another one?" Alana asked.

"Honestly? Boobs" Skye shrugged. "At least, that's what Uncyclo said".

Alicia sighed. "Go on"

"Okay. So the main characters are Yuna, Tidus, Rikku, Wakka, Lulu, Auron, Kimahri, Seymour, um…a whole bunch of others, but I'll explain. Yuna is this emo chick who can't really talk because of bad dubbing. She is a summoner, and her daddy was some big hero. The rest are her guardians. Tidus, who honestly looks like Meg Ryan, has the hots for her. He is kinda dead-"

"Kind of?" Alicia asked.

"Yeah. He's a memory. He's from the city of Zanarkand. It was destroyed by sin, thousands of years ago"

"I thought Jesus was supposed to kill sin" Alana wondered.

"No", Skye said. "Sin is this giant, fucking whale who is Tidus' dad"

"Damn" Alicia whistled. "What a life"

"Yeah. So anyway, Tidus is at this blitz party, and to make a long story short, he was swept up by sin, and Auron disappeared, and he was rescued by Rikku"

"I'm gonna pretend that made sense", Joe said. "Tell us about Rikku"

"She's this really annoying girl who makes these crazy machines. Well, she's Al Bhed and they use machine for everything"

"Machina?" Alana said. "Like 'Dues Ex Machina'?"

"No. Machina is basically what Al Bheds use to survive"

"You know what?" Alana said angrily. "I don't know what Doc and Tamlyn were thinking when they sent us here, but its not cool. I'm tired, and you can finish this story tomorrow, babes"

With that, Alana turned over and promptly fell asleep. Skye, thankful to have more time to gather her thoughts, followed.

Alicia and Joe exchanged glances. This was just getting more confusing, but also interesting. Alana may no care, but that was her attitude. She would learn to like this dilemma in time. Skye was the expert, so they would let her think all this over before she explained it all.

Alicia reached over, and turned out the lights. Except for Vidina's crying, not a word was uttered after.

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Again, said this one wasn't the greatest. In coming chapters, we hope things will make sense. We really do. Next chapter should be up really soon, in which Skye finishes explaining, and we get POWERS!!


	9. Weed and an Explanation! Halleluja!

YES!! Finally an UPDATE!! We've been busy. We lied. We don't meet any new people in this chapter. And we don't get powers yet. We had to make Skye explain herself, and that took a whole chapter, so the NEXT one should involve all that shiz, kay?

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Joe was the first to wake up that morning. She stretched her arms and sat up. All the events of the previous night hit her like a freight train, and her stomach muscles tensed. She smoothed back her hair and tiptoed to the other bed where Skye was spooning Alana. Jo gently shook them, and then ran back to her bed to jump on Alicia.

The standard way of waking her up.

Alicia groaned and rolled over.

"Jesus! I will NEVER get used to you doing that", she said, rubbing her back.

"What are we doing today?" Alana asked sleepily.

"Hold Up!" Alicia commanded. "The first thing we are doing is getting information. We didn't give Skye a chance to explain yesterday, so she can do it again today. Hopefully it won't take long, and then we can chillax the rest of this trip"

It sounded like a good plan.

"Wait. I definitely remember Tammy saying we could get powers here. Hell, I wanna fly", Joe pouted.

"The powers they were talking about are different", Skye piped up. "There are some pretty gypsie moves in this game, but I'll explain later"

"I don't know about you guys, but I'm hungry", Alana said, jumping up.

Alicia exchanged a look with Joe. Alana was acting pretty normal, and that was good. Hopefully she wouldn't have another fit.

They all got dressed, and trooped downstairs to find Lulu in the kitchen trying to feed a squirming Vidina.

"Morning!" Alicia said brightly.

"Good morning", Lulu smiled. "I hope you girls slept well. If there's anything you need, don't bother to ask"

They smiled. Lulu was really, very nice. Her Goth attire was very misleading.

The girls helped themselves to orange juice, when Alana stopped in her tracks.

"Lani, what's wrong?" Joe asked her sister, concern drawing over her face.

"Do you guys smell that?" Alana asked turning around wide eyed. "Come on. Don't tell me you can't sense it"

Lulu looked around confused. "Is something wrong", she asked.

"What's buggin'?" Alicia asked Alana

Everyone was looking at her strangely. Alana trailed over to the back window where Wakka and Lulu's garden could be seen. She stopped and inhaled deeply. Alicia caught on immediately. Then Joe.

"Holy shit", she said astounded

"What?" Skye said exasperated. "What is it?"

"Cannabis", Alicia said simply, and walked over to join Alana.

Skye's eyes almost fell out of her head. Lulu and Wakka's backyard was overflowing in marijuana. Among all the flowers and fruit trees and other plants, the weed was thriving. There were bushed of it. Tufts grew everywhere. The unique leaf shape was even climbing the walls.

"What the fuck!" she said.

Joe was simply dumbfounded. These people grew crack in their backyard like it was no big deal! It was like Tijuana jungle out there. She personally didn't care. This was good news. So much for them staying clean.

Alicia felt like she was home already. Her fingers were itching to just grab a leaf, roll it up and smoke it. Alana's eyes were watering.

Lulu walked over smiling. "I see you girls found our garden. The cannabis plant is our main crop"

Skye stared at her. "I didn't know you guys were junkies"

Lulu looked confused. "I'm not too sure what you mean by that. The cannabis plant is very useful here. We use it for healing, and herbs, and decoration, and many other things. I thought it was quite common"

"You have no idea", Skye muttered under her breath.

"So y'all don't, like, smoke it?" Alana asked. Her eyes were watery and just burning with greed.

"Well, I don't know why you'd want too", Lulu said. "I mean, I guess you could. We usually don't do that here, but…if you girls want to, I guess it's okay"

There was a thud. Everyone turned around to find that Skye had passed out.

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A few hours later, with a revived but shocked Skye, the girls bid Lulu good bye for a while and decided to take a walk so Skye could explain the game to them. Alicia and Alana had each taken handfuls of weed, rolled them up and were smoking them happily. People were staring as they walked, and Skye seemed quite self conscious, but she continued anyway.

"So, like I said, the main characters are Yuna and Tidus and shit, but I have to start from the beginning"

"Please do" Alicia said.

"We are in the world of Spira. It is divided into 3 subcontinents with little islands and stuff. We're on Besaid Island right now. But there are others."

"Kilika and Bikanel?" Joe asked, referring to Skye's bullshit stories the previous day.

"Exactly. So anyways humans live on it. It's mainly humans, but there are other races. The Al Bhed, Guado, and Ronso for example. Okay. Now I'm gonna explain the mythology. There are these things called Pyreflies. They're bundles of life energy that come from the dead and wander around. Leave'em alone, and they usually cluster together and form into fiends. Those are these fucked monsters that take a variety of forms and return to pyreflies when defeated. Most of the enemies in the game are fiends. In rare cases, pyreflies maintain enough cohesion to become unsent. Unsent's are beings that appear human but are actually the lingering remnant of a dead person with a purpose left unfinished"

Skye continued sounding like she's swallowed a fucking encyclopedia. Alicia's jaw dropped, and Joe stared mesmerized at her vast mother lode of knowledge.

"One of the things in the game is a summoner. Yuna is one. Summoners guide stray pyreflies to the farplane, which is like heaven except sexier. They do this through a ritual dance known as "the sending". The other chief function of summoners is to summon aeons. Those are magical creatures created when people sacrifice their lives to encase their souls within statues, becoming fayth. Fayth grant summoners the ability to summon their respective aeons, which are described as "dreams of the fayth". Summoners have to defeat Sin, who this huge fucking whale monster that has plagued Spira for a thousand years"

Alana interrupted. "You said Sin was Tidus's dad, right?"

Skye nodded and went on. "Okay. Now, you guys gotta know that Spira is REALLY religious"

At this, Alicia's eyes narrowed and her whole demeanor changed. She was ad devout atheist, and thought strongly that religion was the root of all evil. Now she was hearing this cute land was full of mindless god lovers? OH HELL NO!

Skye nervously went on. "Their religion is called Yevon. It's really revered. The Yevonite temples consider Sin a divine punishment set upon people for their pride in the use of machina and forbid the use of advanced technology. However the highest priests, known as the maester's have become 

increasingly corrupt and unfaithful to their own doctrine, making use of machina to increase their power"

Alicia snorted. "Typical"

"So summoners go on pilgrimages to gather aeons and increase their powers. They are accompanied by guardians, trained fighters whose duty is to protect the summoners and assist them along the way. The end of the pilgrimage is in Zanarkand, where summoners acquire the Final Aeon, the only known power that can destroy Sin. You find out later in the game that the fayth for the Final Aeon is actually created from one who is personally close to a summoner, requiring a guardian of each summoner who defeats Sin to sacrifice his or her life. Shizzle Tidus"

The looks on the other's faces were shocked. "It's okay!" Skye said. "No one dies"

She went on "Using the Final Aeon against Sin costs the summoner's life as well. This makes a period of time where everything is peaceful. It's called the calm. Sin returns, thus requiring the whole shizam to start over"

Alicia inhaled deeply on her joint. "Damn"

Skye took a deep breath. Alana marveled ho little she knew about this side of her best friend.

"The game starts with Tidus in an unruined Zanarkand. It is suddenly attacked by Sin. So Tidus, and his, um, God father Auron are sucked in to Sin"

Joe made a gagging noise.

""So Tidus is rescued by this Al Bhed chick named Rikku. I swear to fucking god, that child in on SPEED! But anyways. Rikku says that Zanarkand has been destroyed 100os of years ago. Of course Tidus is all, WTF? But then Sin comes AGAIN and he is swept away AGAIN and ends up here on Besaid. Then he meets Wakka, who thinks he's the shiz at Blitzball and is all: Dude, come play on our team! So he does"

"Is he hot?" Alicia asked.

"I personally think he's a little fruity" Skye admitted/ Alicia looked down sadly.

"Then we meet Yuna. The emo chick. She's a summoner and blah blah. Her daddy was another summoner who made The Calm 10 years earlier. She wasn't to be just like him, so she's all: I'm gonna sacrifice myself! Her guardians are Wakka, Lulu, and Kimhari. BTW, Yuna's daddy was Braska. His guardians were Auron and Tidus' papa, Jecht. So Tidus sees her and obviously get all horny and is like: I wanna be a guardian too. So blah blah, they go on their trip"

Alana chuckled. This was getting interesting.

"So they go to Kilika, get their ass kicked by Sin, and then get the aeon Ifrit. He was a Ronso. Then they go to Luca, and get kicked by fiends. Then for some reason, Auron finds them and they're all this happy family. Then they meet this asshole, Seymour who tries to rape Yuna-"

Alana choked on her joint.

Skye chuckled. "Just kidding. But he does try to marry her. But her guardians save the day! Woot! Oh yeah. They meet Rikku, who turns out to be Yuna's cousin. It's complicated. They get the aeon Ixion. After reaching Guadosalam, Seymour invites Yuna to his manor, proposing. She thought about it and SAID YES! Yuna thinks she's hot shit and is all: I'm gonna marry him for the good of Spira! They cross the plains and Macalania woods, but are attacked by Rikku's brother and a machina. After repelling the Al Bhed, Seymour's aide, Tromell, guides Yuna to the temple and the group follow, at the temple seeing a sphere from Jyscal Guado, Seymour's late father. We find out that Seynour, the bastard, killed his papa. They kill him 'cause he's an asshole, and get another aeon, Shiva, who kicks some serous ass. Then they get attacked by Sin AGAIN!! They land on Bikanel and find they've lost Yuna"

"Shit!" Alicia said. She was caught up in the story."

"Rikku guides the group to the Al Bhed Home, which is being attacked by Yevon. It is revealed that the Al Bhed have kidnapped summoners to stop them from dying when the Final Summoning is performed and aboard the airship piloted by Brother and Rikku's father, Cid, resolves to save her. She has been taken to Bevelle, forced into marriage with Seymour. Only now it sucks cause he's an unsent. They get the aeon Bahamut, and meet Seymour AGAIN! They defeat him and cross the Calm Lands and climb Mt Gagazet, home of the Ronso. At the summit they meet Seymour, who has brutally slaughtered the Ronso cause he's a fucking dildo. They defeat him once more and go to Zanarkand"

Her eyes were red at this point and she seemed really angry. She must have really hated Seymour.

"So they get to Zanarkand and Tidus learns that he, Jecht, and the Zanarkand they hail from are all "dreams", summoned by things like aeons. Their city, Dream Zanarkand, was created one thousand years earlier, when the "Machina War" led to Yevon. Yevon was Zanarkand's ruler and a powerful summoner, taking desperate measures to preserve its memory. He had his city's surviving people become fayth so that he could use their memories of Zanarkand to create a new city in its image, far removed from the warfare on the Spiran mainland. Sin was also created at this time, given form by Yevon himself to serve as "armor" protecting himself and the fayth. While continuously summoning Dream Zanarkand, Yevon lost his humanity and became known as Yu Yevon. Which is like calling your mom a bitch. Over the next one thousand years, Sin would persistently attack the people of Spira to keep them from gaining the technology to learn of Dream Zanarkand's existence"

This point in the story was very somber. Joe piped up "Dream Zanarkand? Sounds like a drug"

"So blah blah, they get to complete their pilgrimage. But Yunalesca is like: Hell No! So like I said before, they gotta sacrifice a couple people but they don't want to give anyone up, so they decide its better to crash an airship into Sin. Go figure. Inside Sin, the battle Seymour A-FUCKING-GAIN! But they kill him and sin forever!! Auron goes to the farplane. All the spirits of all the fayth of Spira are freed from their imprisonment, dispersing the aeons, Dream Zanarkand, and also Tidus, and Yuna is pissed and depressed and I think she cuts. And then it ends. She gives a speech to Spirans and the game is damn-diddly-over"

Silence followed. Pin-drop silence. Then Alicia spoke. "Holy SHIT! This game is AMAZING!"

Skye smiled. "Told you!"

Joe heart was racing. Skye was a really good story teller, and she felt all the effects of the story. Alana had finished her joint and still looked shocked.

"Come on guys, it wasn't that hard", Skye joked.

"Babes. I am impressed. Where would we be without you?" Alicia sighed. She went over and threw her arms around Skye. Alana and Joe followed suit. They stayed in this embrace of friendship, until Skye spoke up.

"But guys, that's only half the story. I didn't tell you about Final Fantasy X-2!"

Alicia promptly stopped hugging her and her look of gratitude was replaced with a look of torture.

"Final Fantasy X-2" Joe said in a small voice.

"Oh yeah!" Skye said grinning. "Oh yeah!"

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So. How was that? I think we just summed up the whole game for you. It might be boring if you already played it, but we had to.


	10. Of Drabbles, Blitzball, Sexism and Hots

Hey. Skye here. It's been a while, we know. We had to finish the oh-so-boring explanation but we're done! And we meet other people! Next chappie, we'll meet yuna nad her 2 lackeys!

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Alana looked at her best friend in disbelief.

"You've got to be joking!" she said. "There is no way I'm listening to ANOTHER fucking story. No! Not doing it. Sorry. We need a break. I just fucking went through your shit about some dude named Tidus who seems to be a hormonal teenager, and Emo's and Sins! I've had enough! We are taking a break from this story right NOW! You can finish it later, I want a BREAK!"

Alicia glanced down and noticed Alana's joint was all over. No wonder she was in a shitty mood.

"No. We need to hear the rest of the story right now. There are more people you know. We cant just go around meeting people we don't know about. I don't care. Skye is finishing this"

She rolled up another marijuana leaf and before Alana could protest, shoved it in her mouth.

Skye looked around happily, glad for another story-telling escapade.

"Alrighty. Final fantasy X-2!"

Joe sat down patiently on the beach and listened. Skye cleared her throat.

"Essentially, Spira hasn't changed much in the second game. Its two years later. The only major changes are when Kilika is rebuilt and this shitty mist is cleared form around Mt. Gagzet. Sin is gone, but there are still fiends"

"Fuck" Alicia muttered. She didn't like the sound of these fiends.

"The whole religion thing sorta changes too. The Yevon priests are more open to machine and Al Bhed are not shunned. So Al, its all good. They're not ALL mindless indoctrinators"

Alicia smiled.

"So there are these things called sphere hunters. There are a lot of groups who formed along these lines. It's pretty silly but whatever. There are three leaders. Nooj, Gippal and Baralai. Fanfiction has this annoying habit of pairing Rikku with Gippal. I think it's just 'cause they're both Al Bhed. So anyway. Sin is gone and so are these crazy priests, but now people are obsessed with machina. All these new ideologies popped out of no where. It was like the fucking Cold War. The Youth League wants to get all comfy with machine and the New Yevon Party wanted to stick with the old ways. I'm like: Stop your bitching, and start a revolution! Whatever"

"Damn. I would have stayed with the Youth League! Society sucks man" It was strange how much she looked like a hippie at this point.

Skye went on.

"So the Youth League and New Yevon are like: Dude, we need Yuna's support 'cause she's hot shit. But she was like: I'm gonna pull a Switzerland guys; stayin' neutral! She joins the Gullwings with Rikku and Brother, who by the way, IS ON CRACK! The Gullwings are sphere hunters. She also began working with the excavation team of the Machina Faction, a neutral group of Al Bhed researching more advanced machina technology, and this dude, Gippal. He's gotta sexy eye-patch, I'll give you that So anyway the two party's are flipping shits with each other and Yuna goes all love sick and is like: Ima find Tidus with these sphere's! Because remember? He vanished at the end of FFX. But then she sees this sphere with this dude who looks EXACTLY like Tidus. Oh. Wakka and Lulu get married and Lulu gets knocked up but you can never tell. So Yuna is like: I'm gonna get mah Tidus back. Wakka thinks she shouldn't but she does anyway. "

Alana shook her head. "What a hopeless case" she sighed and puffed lightly on the roll.

"So anyways, the main characters are Yuna, Rikku and Paine"

Alicia coughed. "I-I'm sorry. _Paine?"_

Skye nodded. "Yep. Paine. And she looks just like her name"

Joe winced.

"So it starts with Yuna, Rikku and Paine finding Yuna's stolen Garment Grid from this bitch named Leblanc. This happens a couple times when they look for spheres. You see Yuna talking to Tidus periodically, and you KNOW you're gonna see him again"

Alicia clicked her tongue.

"As the game goes on, the hostilities between the Youth League and New Yevon build to a head. In the meantime, the Gullwings discover an ancient sphere containing images of an enormous machina weapon called "Vegnagun" that was secretly buried beneath the city of Bevelle. This thing was built by Saddam Hussein in order to destroy all of Spira"

Aland choked. "REALLY?!" she looked up, her eyes watering.

Skye snickered. "No"

Alana threw a handful of sand at her. Skye ducked and continued.

"But this Vegnagun is dangerous. The Gullwings then join forces with Leblanc to investigate the underground areas of the city in an attempt to destroy the machine before it can be used by either side in the upcoming conflict. Then they find this tunnel and realize that Vegnagun has apparently been moved to the Farplane. Don't ask. So back in the real world, all these political arguments get more intense when Gippal, Baralai, and Nooj disappear. The Gullwings go back underground to find the dudes all having a chat. You learn that the machine's artificial intelligence allows it to detect hostility and to respond by activating itself and fleeing. You also find that Nooj had come to Bevelle with the intention of destroying Vegnagun previously, prompting it to flee to the Farplane. You then learn that Paine had once been friends with all three men, assigned to be their sphere recorder while they were candidates for the Crimson Squad, an elite group intended to be assigned leadership of Crusader chapters across Spira.

"Shizzle" Alicia said, her eyes wide.

"Two years earlier in this cave beneath Mushroom Rock Road called "The Den of Woe", just before the failed Operation Mi'ihen, the squad's final exercise was conducted. In the cave, the various squad candidates were swarmed by pyreflies and driven to kill one another. The only survivors were Paine, Baralai, Gippal and Nooj, who were themselves targeted by the Yevon order afterward when they revealed having seen images of Vegnagun while in the cave. Soon after, Nooj went all crazy shot his surviving peeps and left them to die, severing the friendship the group had with one another. However, at this time, it is revealed that he was not acting of his own accord when he shot them. The feelings that drove the squad members to kill one another are revealed to have been the despair of SHUYIN! who died 1000 years earlier. Before the four survivors could leave the cave, the spirit of Shuyin had possessed Nooj, and later forced him to shoot his comrades. He kinda stole his body 'causer he wanted Vegnangun."

Only one part of this seemed to have registered with Alicia.

"Mushroom Rock Road? _Mushroom Rock?"_

Skye sighed. "Yesss Ally. Mushroom Rock Road. It's not weed"

She continued.

"Nooj's will was too strong for him to be completely controlled, and his desire to destroy the large machina prompted it to flee. Now desiring a new host, Shuyin leaves Nooj's body and possesses Baralai's, pursuing Vegnagun to the Farplane. Nooj and Gippal follow in pursuit, asking Yuna to keep things under control on the surface. In doing so, the you must fight and defeat each of Yuna's aeons from _Final Fantasy X_. Its fucking retarded but you have to do it. During this mission, Yuna falls into the Farplane and meets Shuyin, who mistakes her for a woman named "Lenne". Feeling affection toward him that is not her own and finding herself unwilling to move away from him, she listens as Shuyin describes how he "awoke" after he had died, alone and unable to find Lenne. He then expresses anger that Spira's citizens have not yet come to understand the heartache that war can cause, and reveals that he has developed a plan to use the old, but still operational Vegnagun to destroy all of Spira, ending the possibility of there ever again being a war. In so doing, he believes that he will be making the world a better place."

"True dat, son" Joe said raising the peace sign.

"Then you find out that 1000 years before the, Shuyin was a famous blitzball player in Zanarkand, and the lover of a popular singer/summoner, Lenne. Shuyin's memory would then form Tidus in Dream Zanarkand in Final Fantasy X. The two lived during Zanarkand's war with the more powerful Bevelle, and during the course of the war, Zanarkand ordered all summoners to the front lines, separating the couple. Believing that Lenne would die in battle, Shuyin decided that the only way to save her was to infiltrate Bevelle, commandeer Vegnagun, and use it to destroy Zanarkand's enemies. But Lenne was like: HELL NO! When she caught up to Shuyin in Bevelle, he had only just begun to operate Vegnagun's control panel. Before he could use the giant cannon located in its mouth to destroy the city, Lenne asked him to stop"

The others realized that tears were forming in Skye's eyes and her voice was getting choked up. There was dead silence.

"So Shuyin did as she asked, but a group of soldiers arrived a moment later and..and…shot them."

Alana gasped. Alicia gulped and Joe let out an audible "WHAT THE SHIT?"

"Fatally injured, Shuyin failed to hear Lenne saying that she loved him before they died."

Alicia promptly burst into tears. Alana's mascara was running.

"Over the next 1000 years, Shuyin's despair and resentment over his failure to save Lenne bonded to pyreflies and caused him to constantly experience the anguish of that moment. Over time, his despair became so powerful that it began acting on its own, and he came to believe that — in addition to helping the world — he would fade away with Lenne if he destroyed Spira. He's kinda emotionally unstable and he had problems and…yeah. So now, Yuna knows Shuyin hates war"

"Hell Yeah!" Alicia said.

"So she starts a concert and everyone is invited. Then it turns out that the dress she always wears when she sings was Lenne's dress. So you see Lenne who looks like Yuna's fucking twin with super long hair. Then Shuyin and Lenne's memories are projected onto the screen and everyone sees that fighting is wrong and war is bad. You also find out that Shuyin thought Yuna was Lenne for some reason…"

She shook her head.

"Anyways…Shuyin already did his bit with Vegnagun and everyone's like: Oh Shit. So they all go back to the Farplane and kick Vegnagun's ass before it can fuck up Spira. Lenne and Shuyin are at peace and they can go and be together and have little ghost babies and stuff like that"

Alana wrinkled her nose. "That's gross"

"Then, this faith comes to Yuna and is like: You wanna see Tidus again? She's like: YESS! OMG OMG! Then you see Tidus at the bottom of this ocean…which is weird because all that pressure on top of him would have made his blood pressure go haywire and-"

"We get it" Alicia said.

"Yeah. So Tidus comes back to Besaid, he's almost run over by the airship. He's reunited with Yuna and they live happily ever after, occasionally looking after Vidina who inherits his dad's gypsie hair! The end!"

Skye raised her fists triumphantly as if she just conquered some amazing feat, which she sort of had.

"Umm…that was real interesting Skye" Joe said uncertainly. "I think I like the first one better though. This one was too sad"

"Yeah. Most people feel that way" Skye replied. "But it's all good. We should do something now"

Alana's eyes were still black from her crying. She simply could not get over the whole Lenne and Shuyin thing. Fuck Romeo and Juliet. This was some depressing shit.

But at least everyone was on the same page now. No more questions. They understood what this game was about.

"So we're gonna meet all these people?" Alicia asked incredulously.

"Yep!" Skye said happily.

Joe reflected the whole story in her head.

"Yuna, Rikku and Paine, huh? Sound like Charlie's Angels on smack. I should meet these amazing chicks"

"We will" Alana said. "We're meeting everyone"

The four friends stood on the beach silently looking at each other as a cool breeze drifted over them. Then, once again, there was the familiar whizzing noise- the sound of a blitzball being thrown through the air.

And yet again, Alana caught it like a pro. She twirled it around in her fingers.

"Damn. Again! That means the team is practicing, right? I should go talk to Wakka to be honest. Y'know? To see if I can still be on the team"

"Gimme that!" Alicia said, grabbing the ball. "This is so cool, its like, so blue and bouncy"

"Hehe" Skye snickered. "Bouncy, blue balls"

"Stop being a perve" Joe said disdainfully.

Alicia ran out into the water with the blitzball. "ALANA!" She yelled. "Catch!".

She lobbed the ball as hard as she could into the air. It wasn't as good as Alana's throw but it wasn't bad. Then a voice came from behind her-

"Um, excuse me?"

She shrieked and promptly fell into the sand. Sputtering water, she looked up to see the gayest pair of yellow boots staring at her in the face. She continued looking up at the figure who came up behind her. He had shaggy blonde hair, and would have been cute if it weren't for his boots.

_Wow. What a turnoff._

She realized she was staring blankly at him. She shook her head and said "Hi"

"Hey. Did you just throw that blitz ball, 'cause it's kinda mine"

"Oh. I'm so sorry. I did. We were just playing around with it. I'll get it back for you"

"No problem" he said.

His voice was kind of high-pitched. Something about his appearance rang a bell in Alicia's mind. _Meg Ryan? Shit! This must be Tidus!_

"Uh..What's you name?" she asked rather bluntly.

"I'm Tidus. And you are?"

"Alicia" she said quickly as they walked back to the beach. "'k. Here we are"

Alana came running over to her. "Jesus Al, could you take any more time to walk her? Who's this?"

"Lani, this is Tidus. He plays blitzball"

"Dude. TIDUS? THE TIDUS? Like-"

Alicia cut her off. "Yes. His name is Tidus"

Joe and Skye came over. Joe looked up and Skye almost fell over.

"TIDUS!" she squealed.

He looked up shyly. These girls seemed to know him, though he'd never met any of them. He glanced around and his eye's fell on the nearest one. His heart stopped.

She was gorgeous. Her eyes were like multi-colored crystals and were warm and inviting. Her dark hair hung down her back and she seemed to be the person most under control in this group.

"Uh. Yeah. I'll just take my ball back. Thanks. You know, I gotta go back"

"Oh, but we'll come with you!" Skye said a little too quickly. "I'm Skye by the way. You already met Alicia and Alana" she said nodding towards them. "And this is Joe"

"Joe?" he said. "Isn't that a guy's name?"

"Isn't Tidus a transvestite name?" Alicia retorted.

Joe turned red and interrupted Alicia. "No. It's short for Josephine. I've been called Jo or Joe my whole life"

Her voice was so soft. He felt the sensation of wine being pored into a glass when she spoke. Josephine was really something else.

"Yeah" Alicia backed up. "Joe's as good as her real name though. I suggest you call her that because if you call her Josephine, you might find your balls in a tree. Just FYI"

Tidus laughed. Joe smiled at him. This behavior did not go unnoticed by the other girls. Alana thought it was hilarious. Skye was thinking how great it would be if the two got together. Alicia was thinking that her reproductive organs were itching to be used and she wondered how many other guys there were on this island. But the message was clear from almost a minute after they met. Tidus and Joe were off limits. Not that this mattered. Alana and Skye weren't remotely attracted to him and Alicia had a feeling he was bi. And she didn't swing that way, so it was all good.

Alana broke the silence.

"Well, if you're going back to practice, we'll come with you. I have to talk to Wakka anyway. You know, I might be on the team p-r-e-t-t-y soon"

"Really?" Tidus asked interestedly. "I don't remember a time when we had a girl on the team."

"Well, I'm gonna be the first!" she said happily.

"Where are you girls from?" he asked.

"Kilika!" Alana said proudly.

"Oh. Interesting. How long do you plan on staying?"

"Who knows?" Alicia shrugged. "We're wanderer's. We usually don't settle in one place forever"

"That's for sure" Skye said to no one in particular.

Tidus looked down. That meant that Josephine probably wouldn't stay on the island. He didn't know why that made him a little sad. What the hell was he thinking? He couldn't have feelings for this girl! Sure she was hot!...and sweet…and funny…But that was besides that point! He had Yuna! This girl came out of no where.

But as he looked at her walking along side them, as the other girls chatted happily, his heart melted. She had this serene smile on her face and her amazing eyes surveyed the sea with curiosity. She had a guitar strapped to her back. Musical too. They approached the rest of the team and Alana sprinted up to Wakka.

"Hey 'Lana! How's it goin'? You alright at my place?"

Alana nodded.

"Yeah. It was just great. Lulu said we might find you out here and I wanted to see if I could, y'know, still be on the team?"

Wakka nodded.

"Sure. We can have a quick trial now, ya?" He stepped back. "Everyone, this is Alana. She just came here from Kilika and she's gonna show us her amazing blitz skills"

The rest of the team stepped back politely but a few snickered to themselves as if she couldn't do it. This did not go unnoticed by Alana, and it made her blood boil. Back in the 60s, she had taken an active part in the Women's Rights movements, sacrificing many of her favorite bra's for things she believed in! (FYI. History fact. Women would burn bras in protest during the Women's Rights Movement)

She would show these sexist fuckers! She stepped back, her eyes dead steady with concentration ready for the trials.

The other girls stood with baited breath and waited to see what would happen next.

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Holy Shiz. We took a while to update. We'd like to not thank all those no-so-wonderful people who didn't review! We PROMISE!! Oh, Ok. I! I, Skye, promise that we will get powers in the next chapter. Please review? Recently discovered what a Mary Sue is.

Note: NONE OF US ARE MARY SUES! We have flaws. Many. We're tripping, for Gods sakes!! We're certainly not perfect beings, so we don't want any harsh shit about us being all holier than thou-characters and bs, k?

But why re we worrying? We never get reviews ANYWAY…….


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